What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
