Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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