you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
