im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
