The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
