So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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