There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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