So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
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We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
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drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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