last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
as a side note pls kill me
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize