What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Girls should come with a carfax report
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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