your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
