ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
