btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
