I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
