I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
