the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
