i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Randomize
