Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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