I'm going to jail i love you
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Randomize
