I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
