i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
