I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
