This dress was meant to end up on your floor
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
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the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But theres a keg here and me gusta
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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