I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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