college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
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I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
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I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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