i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize