Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
