goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
