I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
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I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
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WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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