so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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