You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
