Pappa wants mamma naked
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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