all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
