I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
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I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
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she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
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