i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
