I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
