Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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