She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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