I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
