So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
