Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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