census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
