it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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