I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
