she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
