id be glad to
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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