he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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