they need to just BURY HIM!
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
