He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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