I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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