Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
