Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm bleeding and have questions
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
