He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
