just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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