Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Randomize
