You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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