the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
