I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
And then the night went full on bisexual.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
