dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize