I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
