The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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