He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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