Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
